Rating: PG-13
Warnings:
Pairing(s):
Disclaimer: The author makes no represenation that he/she owns Dragonball Z. This story is written purely for enjoyment, not for profit.

Through chapped lips Vegeta spoke the most pivotal words ever issued from his mouth: "Kakarrot, shut up or I will throw this grilled cheese sandwich at you."

"But it was funny, Vegeta!" And then his face was full of greasy, cheesy goodness. "Seriously, guys," Goku turned to the others at the table; namely, his and Vegeta's families, and then continued, now munching on the ex-projectile, "I didn't believe him, so I ended up standing out in the middle of the street..."

"Didn't believe what?" Chi-Chi cut in.

"Kakarrot..." Vegeta gave a warning growl. He held up the other half of his sandwich, and then lowered it, reassessed the situation, and raised a knife instead.

"Er, I'll start at the beginning..."

"Kakarrot..."

~o0o~

"You. Are. Not. Going. Into. Another. Grocery. Store." Vegeta's arms were full of bags, as were Goku's.

"But this one always gives out samples on Saturdays!" the other Saiyajin protested. "'Sides, if Chi-Chi's making me go shopping for her, I might as well get as much as I can out of it, right?"

"You won't be getting anything out of it but a beating if you put one more toe into the territory of 'Vegeta's Rage'!"

"All right, fine," he huffed, and would have stuffed his hands into his pockets if they had been full-and if he'd had pockets. However, as per usual, the man's attitude regained its sheen almost immediately. "Lessee, where else did Bulma and Chi want us to go?"

"Remind me again why they couldn't go clothes-shopping themselves," Vegeta mumbled, shooting Goku an accusing glare-how dare he remember the most dreaded of the day's tasks?

"I think Goten n' Trunks have conferences today, right? And Bulma told me what happened last time you went to those."

"His teacher yelled at him for including tails on himself and on me in his drawing of his family," he answered indignantly, pointing his nose at the clouds. "I can't help it if the boy is finally starting to take pride in his heritage."

"You didn't need to blow her hair up, though."

"It was ugly."

Goku shook his head, grinning despite Vegeta's clear violation of the strict niceness-to-innocent-people code to which the younger Saiyajin adhered. Vegeta wasn't the same as him-thank goodness-and there was nothing wrong in relishing in that. "All right. Anyway, I think this was the store, right? And um," he pulled out a long list, scrawled on the back of one of Goten's crayon doodles, "they wrote that they want us to get clothes for ourselves. 'Because you don't know squat about women's clothes,' Chi wrote after that."

"It's true," Vegeta conceded. "And probably a good thing."

"Huh? Why?"

"Because then they'd send us in here to get things for them as well."

"Yeah, I s'pose." Goku leaned against the door, propping it open to let Vegeta enter. The prince turned sharply and entered the other door, which produced a raspberry from Goku.

Upon opening the door in the second set, Vegeta held it open, flourishing one gloved hand and bowing. "After you, madam."

Goku blinked and looked around, and then confusedly pointed to himself. "Um?"

A malicious grin crept over Vegeta's face. "Yes?"

"Hate to break it to ya, Veggie," Goku put extra emphasis on the name, smirking a bit himself at the annoyed reaction it produced, "but I'm not a 'madam.'"

"Sorry. Miss."

A baffled customer slowed down as he exited the store, watching their exchange for a few seconds before slightly grudgingly walking out the door.

"You're having too much fun, Vegeta," Goku teased. "Considering we're walking into a clothing store."

"I'm having a perfectly fine amount of fun, Kakarrot-considering it's at your expense."

Goku giggled and quickly shoved Vegeta through the door-then just as quickly pulled them off behind a clothes rack at realizing he had shoved Vegeta through the door.

"You know they have security cameras, right? They'll be able to find us."

"Can't you just make Bulma pay for it?" Goku questioned worriedly. "If they get really mad at us? I mean, she's rich! What's a couple of doors, right?" He wrung his hands, as if praying that this would be the case.

"You're not the one who'll end up sleeping alone on the couch at the expense of a couple of doors."

"Aw, Vegeta. I'll keep you company." Vegeta couldn't quite decipher Goku's tone and expression.

He glanced at the shattered glass doors for a few moments. "All right then. If worst comes to worst."

"Then, onward with our mission!"

~o0o~


"This is actually kinda fun!" Goku grinned, holding a shirt up to Vegeta.

"For you, maybe. Hey!" he shoved the sweater away. "Pick out your own clothes."

"You should get this one, Veggie."

"And you should get a brain, Kakarrot."

"This is the same color as a brain..." the other Saiyajin trailed off, distracted.

"Brains are gray."

"Oh." Goku inspected the garment thoughtfully, turning it over a few times and smiling. "Well, this is really cute, Veg. You should get it."

"Like hell I should," he snarled back. "I reiterate; get back to looking for things for yourself. I can take care of my own attire."

"Aw, but I only look good in a gi. At least all this stuff looks nice on you. If a bit baggy," he giggled.

"What are you trying to say?"

"That I should just wear a gi all the time-why do I need dress shirts?"

Vegeta frowned in frustration. "I was talking about-you said you only look good in a gi?" he raised an eyebrow, as if just hearing this.

"Sure. Lookit this; I wasn't meant to wear a polo."

He massaged his temples and shook his head. This was not his idea of a perfect Saturday afternoon. However...that could quite easily be remedied. All this day required to become brighter was a little more...fun at Goku's expense. As a series of thoughts rushed through his mind, one seemed particularly appealing, so he pulled it out of the stream and looked it over. Huh. Brilliant. "That's true, Kakarrot." He was suddenly smirking.

"Yeah? Glad to know at least someone agrees with me!" the younger Saiyajin chirped, tossing the outfit to the side.

"In fact," Vegeta continued, "doubtless you'd look most attractive wearing nothing at all."

Goku's cheeks flushed immediately. "Vegeta..." he squeaked out, looking down at his toes as he caught himself subconsciously running one finger over his gi sash.

"Really," Vegeta basked in the awkwardness, only momentarily perturbed by Goku's action. "How many people, would you say, come on to you per hour you're in public?"

The other Saiyajin shifted uneasily, scratching the back of his head. "Umm...by come on to me, you mean, like..."

"Flirt with you."

"Ummmm..."

"I know at least three people today," Vegeta grinned, reveling in the disconcerted expression riddling his companion's features.

"I guess..."

"But I'll bet that you get ten times that if you walked out there naked."

"I dunno," he bit his lip, bowing his head. "Chi says that's 'indecent.'"

"They only care about that if you're unattractive."

"You act like maybe you know this from experience," Goku jested nervously.

Vegeta looked away from Goku for quite some time. "Er, anyway, I swear-no one will stay away from you like that."

"No one, huh?" Goku raised an eyebrow. He was pretty sure Vegeta meant just the people on the streets, but...there were other motives to consider... Still, Chi-Chi had talked about it like it might have been a horrific, ugly crime. If so, why in the world would more people approach him? "I dunno; I kinda doubt that, Veg."

"Really? Care to take up a bet?"

"Um..."

"Right; money's not important to you, of course," Vegeta nodded, already making his way toward the entrance with some clothes-hoping desperately that the fact he'd actually bought something might be enough to cushion the blow that was sure to come after he explained the need to replace a department store's doors. He chewed on his thumbnail through his glove. "All right, how's this-if I'm not right, I'll cook a dinner for you."

"Are you a good cook?"

"Better than that harpy you call a wife."

"Yeah, right," Goku laughed. "Chi's an amazing cook!"

"What-you want to take me up on two bets now?"

"Well, I don't believe you either way-that more people will come toward me or that you're a better cook than Chi-Chi. Why've I never seen you cook before?"

"I prefer to keep that particular talent a secret."

Goku rolled his eyes. "Right."

"Okay, fine-if you don't believe me, then the prize of our bet will have to be something else...but you're missing out."

"Ooh, ooh! Promise you'll go fishing with me!"

Vegeta shuddered with dread as he handed Bulma's credit card to the cashier. "All right. But it doesn't matter; I won't have to anyway."

"Like I said, I still don't believe you." But as they exited the store, his fidgeting became more and more noticeable. "Umm..."

"Here should be fine," Vegeta set down the bags and encouraged the other Saiyajin to do the same. "Go on, then."

"Go on...and uh...?"

"You know...er..." this time, it was Vegeta's turn to fidget. "Strip."

~o0o~

"Ohhh, you're kidding!" Chi-Chi fumed, while Bulma spoke the same words with a grin and a disbelieving gasp.

"And then Vegeta belted out 'Come and g-'"

"Kakarrot!"

"'-et it!'" Goku finished, snickering and glancing back at the knife lodged in the wall behind him. Goten blinked confusedly as Chi-Chi shot first Goku, and then Vegeta, a poisonous glare, trying to scoot the little boy off to his room in an effort to protect his innocent ears. Trunks laughed until Bulma insisted he follow the other child.

Once all was settled back down, Bulma shook her head and laughed. "I think I have a pretty good guess as to what happened after that."

"Vegeta was right," Goku nodded, dodging a fork from the other end of the table. "Everyone stopped what they were doing..."

"And no one refused the offer, eh?" she buried her hand in her hands in an attempt to muffle her uncontrollable giggles.

"Well, they didn't really have a chance to go through with what they were trying t-" another high-velocity eating utensil cut him off as Vegeta jumped to his feet. "To do, because V-" out of any other artillery, the prince threw a plate at Goku. "Because Vegeta-"

"Shut up, Kakarrot!" he leapt across the table, knocking over a large, fancy bowl and a few glasses, but successfully wrapping his hands around the other Saiyajin's neck.

"W-wouldn't let th-" Goku choked out, "-let them, because he-"

Vegeta tightened his grip. "Don't think it," he whispered dangerously.

But he had to. "-Because he got to me first!"